Holy hot potatoes it has been far too long since I have posted! Winter has been long and my heart has grown tired, however spring is breaking through and I am inspired enough to take the time to write again. I have been told several times that my life should be a reality show, and though I'm not sure I would go quite that far, my life is definately ridiculous at times. I normally write strange little things in journals here and there, but I used to love to write, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, I stopped.
Strangeness follows me. I have realized that it is time to document this crazy life that I live. I actually do not have anything funny or outrageous to post that happened today, however I was almost hit by an ambulance last week...so that should count for a laugh or two. I also get really excited about music, so expect some ramblings about that as well.
Today: I did a presentation on death and dying (talk about a good way to start your day) ...I lit a candle, played a peter gabriel song, attempted to make a joke about death (didn't work so well), gave out chocolates to compensate (may have worked), had a class with Mrs. Trunchbull from Matilda (only scarier), got up to leave class with Mrs, Trunchbull (made really awkward eye contact with Mrs. Trunchbull), couldn't open the door to leave (made a scene).
Anyways, pull up your sheets, get cozy, make a cup of tea, and prepare for storytime with Kate. No pants allowed. I'll title this one "Communing" (yes, I am that creative)
Background details on this one: it is important for you to know that a few weeks prior to one of the most awkward moments of my summer, I was at the grocery store with my mom when we ran into my Aunt's sister (NOT my aunt- NOT related in anyway, my aunt is married to my mom's brother- the lady in the grocery store is my aunt's sister- there was a lot of confusion around this fact). Anyways, after some cordial introductions, how are you's, etc, she told my mom that her son had been coming out to our church. After finding out he was only a few years older than me I asked her if he had gone out to the College and Careers group; she was very excited to inform me that he was in fact going that very night to our meeting.
July 2010 7:00 pm
As per usual, I was running a few minutes late and when I got there the meeting had already started. Worship ended and we began to pray (popcorn style). I had the strangest feeling that entire time, I couldn't help but notice this blonde dude staring at me. At first I actually thought he was kind of cute, but then after a very awkward 5 second eye lock, I changed my mind. I kept thinking that he must know who I am, which would explain why he was staring at me. All night his eyes were on me, I kept telling myself that I was imagining this, but alas, Steph and Andrea both sarcastically nudged me in sharp agreeance that he was most definately creepily staring. I put two and two together and realized that he must be my aunt's nephew. Anyways, the night went on and it turned out that he had no idea who I was (nixing my original theory that his stares were a result of his mom telling him that I would be there, explaining the connection, etc., - not the case at all). I had creepy feelings all night, and in the first round of the game "I've never" he randomly proclaimed that he has "never kissed as a Christian" and made long, proclaimed eye contact. Whoa whoa whoa, this is not truth or dare circa 1999, we don't need to know that ya weirdo- just like no one needs to know that Jeff Page and I were dared to kiss each other in grade 6 (just a peck) and he somehow got confused and put his tongue down my throat (yuck! talk about a scarring experience- I squealed, jumped back 10 feet in classic Katie Hauer fashion and he told me that I looked like I was going in for a "real" kiss. so he thought he would just "go for it". uhh no. gross- I still have terrifying flashbacks). Anyways, this was the first sign of strangeness (well technically the second if you count the incessant staring). I should also like to note that whenever someone has the idea to play "I've never" it is wise to just not play, people use this as a strange kind of confessional, and I'm always the only one in the room who has never smoked pot, and no one believes me.
August 2010 12:00 pm
The second sign came in a similar fashion. I was at church, and the entire Haiti team was called up to the front so that they could pray for us before our trip. We broke up into groups and were standing in various locations around the sanctuary. Afterwards, my Mom came up to me and asked me if I noticed "that Dan guy" staring at me. Turns out the dude was creeping me the entire service, even during worship. On a normal day I might get a little excited at the thought of a guy doing this...wait no I wouldn't, this is not my life, and I am far too awkward and scared of boys to ever even consider the possibility of this being a good thing. When we got home from church my mom announced to my Dad (in front of the majority of my family) "Hey Mike, did you notice that Dan guy staring at Katie the entire service? Don't you think that was so weird!?". After everyone laughed about it, and agreed that it was weird, life went on. I hadn't seen him for a while after that, and things were looking up. I hadn't had to strategically position myself in church in weeks.
Late August 2010 1:00 pm
It was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. It all went down in a 2 for 5 sub shop after church one Sunday. It was our weekly "sunday subs with Joe" where a bunch of us get subs, eat lunch together, play a round of tribond, and go for a float down the Chippawa creek. Joe and Steve's friend Andie from Australia was visiting, and this made for even more fun! I arrived at the sub shop and as I was waiting in line, Dan (aka creeper starer) pounced on me like an eagle on a lamb. Myself, being the awkward baby lamb, with soft curly hair, so tender and sweet, and unprepared for what was about to happen. He came at me out of nowhere..."Ohh, uhh, hiii, uhh Katie, so I have been meaning to talk to you", I was getting intensely nervous at this statement, I could feel my intestines curling up as I squirmed around awkwardly and looked for someone else to join this conversation before things got too weird. I tried to get Andie's attention but he was already giggling with his back to me. While this was happening a few more people came into the sub shop, and were standing behind us while the most outrageous conversation of my life was about to unravel. Things continued to get worse, "so I have been feeling this intense connection to you, and I feel as though we are connected, it's like there is a bond between us" after pausing a moment he quickly said "wait, we aren't related are we??" to which I promptly retorted that we were in NO way related; bad judgment call on my part. He continued, "so anyways, I just feel this bond, it's like we are communing with each other...like during worship today, I could feel this intense connection, and I have this sense that we are communing, I hope this doesn't sound weird, but it was as if our spirits were communing with each other" Umm, you bet your bottom dollar that you sound weird, especially since I had no idea you were at church until the end because I was sitting at the very front. Anyways, he continued to ask me if I felt the same, to which I had no choice but to let him down easy and tell him that I did not feel that connection (I did my signature nervous giggle in between trying not to completely burst out laughing), Andie was having a breakdown in front of me, making this very difficult. The people behind us had also just witnessed the strangest conversation to ever occur in the history of that sub shop. We stood in silence for a long while; my stomach was sick, my bones ached, and my liver hurt. I had no idea how to handle all of this. He just kept staring. When we got to the front of the line a wave of relief swept over me. I ordered an assorted sub- everything on it- extra onions. I ran back to my car where my sister and I tried to comprehend what had just occurred. Dan and I ate lunch at opposite ends of the table, and when he finished gobbling down his sub he disappeared, never to be seen again (like the Beast from the Sandlot). The rest of my summer was spent enduring endless teasing and jokes about communing, and my "soulmate" who is kind of my cousin, but not really.
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